Tidal waves of updates -- trickles of meaningful content.

  • May 2002
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  • July 2003
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  • July 2004



    Tuesday, July 30, 2002

    Disappointment, Wasps, and Comedy Tours

    Zoolander = disappointing. Big time disappointing. Ben Stiller was pretty funny, but most of the jokes were the same or very similar ... and Will Ferrell was very underused. David Duchovny does a nice cameo, though. First time I've been disappointed by a movie so far this summer. This sucks even more because I went to go rent Donnie Darko, but the case under the cover at Blockbuster was for some movie I've never heard of called Charlotte Grey, which sounded really boring, forcing me to scavenge for a movie -- the result being Zoolander. So Zoolander was two disappointments in one, like when you were a kid and you bought a box of cereal to get a cool toy, but found out that not only was the cereal nasty, but the toy broke as soon as you took it out of the bag. But anyway.

    Today in my history class, we were talking about Henry VIII and the beginning of the Anglican Church. When my professor was talking about Anne Boleyn, and how she requested a French swordsman so she wouldn't have to bow to anyone, I was thinking I've been there. I saw where this happened. That's a really cool feeling. This is why I need to get rich enough to be a world traveller.

    I have mosquito bites on my feet, somehow. Fuck that.

    Why do bugs hate me so much? I was outside today, enjoying the AMAZING book "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius," when all of a sudden, a swarm of wasps inexplicably and unexpectedly started dive-bombing me, causing me to run back inside the house, screaming and swatting at the air. I'm sure I looked insane.

    To all fans of sketch comedy, I just found out today that Mr. Show will be going on tour with a live show in the fall. I will most likely be seeing them in Los Angeles, but all my Boston brethren will have a chance to check them out at the Orpheum, too. Very exciting.

    And now, I must be off to try to secure a way to visit Quinne and her L.A. Aunt this week.
    posted at 10:56 AM

    Monday, July 29, 2002

    You Get The Ankles And I'll Get The Wrists

    My ankles and wrists both hurt today. Am I, like some sort of rotting door, coming unhinged?

    A few important developments today -- First, I bought my plane tickets to Los Angeles, which means I will soon have a very real and tangible symbol of my flight to the west. Damn you, and your slogans, Horace Greeley! Oh, I will also have a maxxxed out credit card -- three 'x's because it's my first one ever, and the fact that I'll be living near Beverly Hills with a maxxxed out credit card amuses me to no end. This will last until I need to buy something.

    Speaking of which, my used copy of Blind Melon's "Soup" was one of the important things that arrived in the mail today. I hadn't heard it in SIX YEARS, the original copy having met an unfortunate end trapped in the Subway Sandwich store CD player. How crazy is that? I put it in, with a newly-increased appreciation of the offbeat American rock that Blind Melon peddles, and found that I still remembered most of the words to the songs. It's a really excellent CD, if you get the chance to check it totally out.

    The last thing that arrived today was the much-anticipated VHS tape of the Slow Children At Play's "An Evening Of Tasteful Sketch Comedy," courtesy of Nolan Reese. The tape of the show is just about as good as I remember the actual show being, and despite the requisite sound and lighting problems, the material definately stands up to scrutiny. And the now infamous "Baby Shakers" sketch looks amazing, and both my 40-someting mom and 10-something sister thought it was hysterical.

    In conclusion, the SlowKids rule.

    And um .... I think there was something else ... but my mysteriously aching wrists prevent me from writing it. Yes, that's it.

    Tonight I will drink beer and watch Zoolander. Fear my masculinity!
    posted at 3:53 PM

    Friday, July 26, 2002

    Recent Lack Of Updates Remedied; Semicolon Used In Entry Title

    First off, I. Can't. Believe. that no one commented on the TV shows my friends and I made up. I'll just chalk this up to the overall bitchiness of enetation and their commenting system.

    Seeing Styx and Bubbles in southeastern Connecticut was great. Lots of fun and lots of laughter (obviously). I also got unknowingly roped into going to Styx's family reunion, which turned out to be a lot of fun, too. Bubbles and I are now in the photograph of all his family members, which I'm sure they will look at one day, wondering if they're becoming senile because they can't for the life of them remember who those two odd-looking people are.

    Another cool thing about the whole experience was that their beach cottage was like, directly across the Niantic River from the Millstone Nuclear Power Plant, which, in recent history, was declared the most dangerous power plant in the country. Cool.

    So much fun was had, in fact, that Bubbles and Styx made the trek up to Berlin today to visit me. We went to the excellent "It's Only Natural" vegetarian-centric restaraunt in Middletown, which I never get to go to because none of my friends from home will try vegetarian food. Then we retired to my house to partake in strawberry shortcake, some requisite SlowKids self-promotion, and some Mr. Show viewings.

    All said, it was much fun. Just in case you didn't pick up on this in many, many posts before, I'll write it again: I will miss the SlowKids incredibly when I am in California.

    I know other stuff happened this week, but I'm tired, so I can't think of anything other than me watching "12 Monkeys," which rocked, and Sara finally beginning to express an interest in the sheer wonder that is Super Smash Brothers Melee.

    Welcome to the dark side.

    Where I will go to sleep at 10:50 on a Friday night.
    posted at 7:51 PM

    Friday, July 19, 2002

    Musings And Pictures A-plenty!

    So I got this porn email a few days ago. Your basic tripe, but there was one part of the letter that caught my eye ... and it wasn't a sample picture, sickos. There was a Frequently Asked Questions section in the email for some reason, and one of the questions was, and I kid you not, "can I share my account with my friends and family?"

    This brings up two major questions for me. First, who in their right mind would ask their FAMILY if they wanted to share their porn password? Could you imagine that conversation coming up at a Labor Day picnic? "Hey Aunt Helen, I know YOU like chicks with dicks. You gotta check this site out. Ooh, could you pass that potato salad?" Yikes. The other question that arose in my mind was, "how many people actually DO share porn sites with their families?" Enough to make it a frequently asked question, apparently. Yikes again.

    Speaking of family parties, I went to my cousin Ashley's graduation party a few days ago. She's going to BU, which is pretty cool, as I got to be the Sage of Boston University-related Questions to her and her friends' parents. I also got to see a lot of my extended family, which I really like doing despite the fact that I generally loathe spending time with my immediate family. The Blankenburg side of my family (my Mom's. Yeah, it's German, if you didn't guess) are always very talkative and have great senses of humor. My Mom and some of her cousins were hanging around outside when they remembered my Aunt's 50th birthday would be coming up soon. Obviously, something big has to be done. The progression of ideas went a little something like this:
    "We should get her really drunk."
    "Yeah, then let's leave her on someone's lawn in the middle of the night."
    "No! We should dump her in Hartford!"
    "We'll rent a limo and tell her we're going to take her picture in front of the statue of Ella Grasso (in the Capitol building in Hartford)"
    "Then we'll drive away when she turns around!"
    "... and we'll put a sign on her back that says, 'I have a bomb.' "

    How awesome is that?

    In other news, my friends and I discovered a contest on the wonderful site Television Without Pity, which Sara occasionally writes for. The contest basically told you to combine two TV shows into a new high-concept vehicle. Here's what we did:
    Sara and her brother Ryan made I Dream Of Feeny
    The same team, with slight contributions from Chris, Matt and myself made Blind Dateline: NBC
    I created The Maude Squad
    and Chris and I made The Joseph Kennedy Experiment.

    A major contributor to the Joseph Kennedy Experiement was the imbibing of delicious Blue Moon brew Belgian White Ale. I suggest you try some at your earliest convenience, and then thank Aimee Jones for making me drink some even when I told her I thought beer was nasty.

    I think that's about it ... but I finally saw "Amelie" last night, just after renting "City of Lost Children" again. I will be buying them both very soon. "Amelie" is the most charming movie I've seen in a very long time. And it looks fucking amazing, too. Go see it NOW.

    Tomorrow, I will see Styx and Bubbles in southeastern Connecticut, then return home to write a history paper. Huzzah!

    posted at 10:07 AM

    Sunday, July 14, 2002

    If You Want It Done Right

    A few days ago, when I was driving to class at CCSU, a deer lept across the street in front of my car. It was far away enough from me that I didn't have to run off the road to avoid it or anything, but it was still quite the sight to behold. I don't think I've ever seen a deer that close-up before. They're really magnificent animals. Makes you wonder how someone could want to kill, stuff and mount one of them in their living room ... but that's another discussion.

    After I saw the deer, I got stuck behind a giant tractor that drove at 5 miles an hour, and was late to class. I love living in a farming community.

    In my history class, which is quickly becoming my most anticipated summer activity (yeah, I'm lame), we had a lengthy discussion on Americans' negative association with the concept of "ambition." I guess the literal definition is just someone who wants to better themselves or achieve something, but we most often use it to negatively describe someone who's doing something more interesting than' we're doing. "We've become a nation of critics and cynics," my professor um ... professed, "pullling everyone who tries to accomplish something down to our most base level." It's sad, but it's pretty much true. Look at people's reactions to Ralph Nader for a good example. Then think about the fact that we haven't had a really good President in 50 years. What's most interesting (to me, anyway), is that I've never viewed ambition as something negative, but listening to the other people speak in class, I began to wonder if I was the only one.

    But anyway ...

    Work is still really boring, but this kid Colin (who is awesome because he's dropping out of CCSU to go to art school) and I have developed this time-passing activity to keep ourselves sane. I'll take a paper clip and twist it, Bavarian-style, into unrecognizable forms. Then he'll work on it until it's a perfectly straight line. Then I'll work on it again. It's an obsessive-compulsive's dream. And yes, my job is THAT boring.

    In other news, I blew up at my Dad yesterday because he screwed up my L.A. financial aid. Seriously huge argument, here, because he didn't listen do what I told him to do, and as it stands, I will now definately run out of money in California. Now I have to pick up the pieces of this mess, which is what I should have just done in the first place. People wonder why I insist on taking on an insane amount of responsibility. Well, this is why. Because if I don't do it, someone else is going to fuck it up, and I'll end up fixing it anyway.

    But for lighter news, check out Joey's latest post. It's very funny.

    And thus ends today's post. Go in peace.
    posted at 6:18 AM

    Thursday, July 11, 2002

    Quick Note From The New Britain Herald

    The New Britain Herald is one of my shitty local newspapers. It writes at a 5th grade level -- tops -- and has stories about people and things that no one cares about, and very little (if any) national or international news.

    Anyway, this was the lead of the main story yesterday, and I thought it was incredible. Check it out.

    "FARMINGTON -- Police are trying to determine why a car driven by an 80-year-old woman collided with a parked truck, struck a woman in a wheelchair in the parking lot and then plowed into the Unionville branch of the Farmington Savings Bank Tuesday afternoon."

    I'll tell you why -- BECAUSE SHE'S 80 YEARS OLD. I should be a detective. My statements to the press would be amazing.

    Also, no one got hurt, so don't feel bad if you have a hearty chuckle imagining the scene taking place. Trust me, it's worth it.
    posted at 8:46 AM

    Sunday, July 07, 2002

    "But I Love That Dirty Water"
    I just got back from spending a fantastic Fourth of July in the city of Boston. I stayed with Christinia and Shayna (who amazingly knows all the words to the mix CD I made for her already) and their wonderful, wonderful air conditioner. This was important, as it was 100 degrees and sunny for two of the days I was there, and we spend a lot of time walking around outside.

    First night, we went to Newbury Street with Crash, where I was easily able to find (almost) all the CDs I wanted at much lower prices than I could get them for in Connecticut. Tom Waits, Clem Snide and Badly Drawn Boy all now have new homes in my CD player.

    Other highlights include watching the Eddie Izzard special, wandering around Beacon Hill and the Public Gardens, walking the whole Freedom Trail into Charlestown, (finally) discovering the North End, fireworks and fleeing ducks on the Esplanade, meeting Aimee's brother in Mission Hill, the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, Lunch with The Captain, Zaftdig's apple omelettes ... oh, and of course, seeing (almost) everyone I wanted to see.

    By far, though, the best part of the whole trip was waking up early to hear the Declaration of Independence read from the balcony of the Old State House, the same way it's been done since the original document was read to the crowds of Bostonians in 1776. That definately gives you a sense of history, and a great feeling of patriotism to boot, which is nice because the only other times I feel patriotic are when I'm arguing with conservatives.

    When you walk around Boston, you're literally surrounded by hundreds of years of history, architecture and culture, and knowing that I'll have to abandon this city for Los Angeles is going to be really tough for me -- not only for when I leave at the end of the summer, but also for when I try to get a job after graduation. It'd be nice to move back to Boston when I'm done with L.A. to teach or something. But those are problems for the future. I have problems in the present, like the paper I'm supposed to be writing for my history class right now.

    So, I'll sign off for now ... but I'll probably end up playing Civilization III instead.

    Thanks to everyone who took time out to see me while I was in Boston. It was greatly, greatly appreciated.
    posted at 8:03 PM

    Monday, July 01, 2002

    All Things Considered

    So, I haven't been writing much lately ... this is partly because of annoying power outages and service blackouts from my ISP, but mainly because of my brother, who spends every waking moment on the computer only so that he can listen to MP3s and talk to his girlfriend on AIM -- despite the fact that they both have access to cell phones, traditional phones and cars that could carry them the 3 minute trip to see eachother. Fools!

    A few days ago, I found another spider near my bed. Instead of killing it, though, I tried to use scientific reasoning. I coralled it to the place where I thought all the smaller bugs were getting in through the window, in the hopes that it would become the dominant predator and kill all the little things, then decide to stay by the window because of the bounty of smaller, slower, weaker insects to feed upon.

    Yesterday, I saw the spider by my bed again, and it had to die. I can't have insubordinate spiders running about my sleeping quarters.

    In other news, I saw Ghost World, which was funny, sad and weird, Hedwig And The Angry Inch, which was funny, rockin' and wierd, and tonight I will see The Man Who Wasn't There, which I'm sure will be weird.

    I also started my class at Central CT State University this morning, and I found it pleasantly engaging. The professor is a pretty good lecturer, which is good because the class is at 8AM every Monday through Friday.

    Maybe I just need to be intellectually stimulated all the time to not be grumpy. After class this morning, I read the paper, then went with Chris and Matt to a bookstore and health-food store, on the way talking about some of the CDs I had copied for Matt, then talking for a long time about the current political situation and the benefits of secular pluralism with Chris. Good stuff, I swear.

    I'm also trying to throw together a schedule for my Independence Day In Boston Festival Of Extravagance, i.e. me hanging out with friends and visiting musuems / watching fireworks from the Charles Esplanade. Sweet.
    posted at 4:44 PM